JOKES
The last child support check Today is my daughter's 18th birthday..... I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face." So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like. As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy... and to watch the expression on YOUR face". |
A guy from West Virginia passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14. |
How do you know when you're staying in a West Virginia hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead." |
How can you tell if a West Virginia redneck is married? There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck. |
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools. |
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in
West Virginia? Documentaries. |
Where was the toothbrush invented? West Virginia. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush. |
A West Virginia State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?" |
Did you hear about the $3 million West Virginia State Lottery? The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years. |
The governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down! Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poof! up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them. |
A new law was recently passed in West Virginia.When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins. |
A guy walked into a bar in West Virginia and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?" "No", replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania". The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?" "I'm a taxidermist", said the man. The bartender,looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist? "The man says, "I mount animals". The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar.... "It's okay boys, he's one of us!" |
| One day a father of a very wealthy family
took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" " It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, but they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are." Too many times, we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don't have. What is one's person's worthless object is another's prize possession? It is all based on one's perspective. It makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty we have instead of worrying about wanting more! Take joy and appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends. Please pass this page on to friends and acquaintances to help them refresh their perspective and appreciation. "Life is too short and friends are too few". |
Finally, a man's chain letter! This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one doesn't cost anything! Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife and/or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have. At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine has already received 184 women, of whom four were worth keeping. REMEMBER this chain brings luck. One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy playmate. An unmarried Jewish man living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooter's waitress and a Hollywood super model. You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One man broke the chain and got his wife back again. Let's keep it going, men! Just add your name to the bottom of the list below! Bill Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 Billy Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 Billie Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 B. Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 William Jefferson Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 W. Jefferson Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 W. Jeff Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 W. J. Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 W. Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 William J Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 Wilhelm Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 Willie Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 Will Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 Mr. Hillary Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 Mr. Slick Willie Clinton 780 3rd Ave New York, NY 10017 |